10 Top Tips For Failing at Sales and in Life!

By: Gavin Ingham

Whenever anyone writes an article like this, they assume that you want to succeed. They assume that you want to make sales, earn money, get the girl/boy, drive the nice car into the sunset and live happily ever after. But maybe you don’t…

Maybe you want to go out in a fog of failure? Perhaps you want to mess up with style? If that’s the case, this is for you - my 10 tips that will guarantee that you fail in sales and in life!

1. Start late

Always arrive at work as late as possible. Your aim is to walk through the door as the working day starts. As you do, ensure you laugh loudly at those who have been sitting studiously at their desks for several hours of “their own time”.

2. Go home early

Why put in one ounce more effort than you have to? You don’t want to be giving that pesky employer one minute more of your time than you have to. Life is short, you need to get to the pub as fast as possible!

3. Fail to plan

Planning is boring and it’s for eggheads. Real people take what comes and wing it. It will be alright on the night!

4. Prevaricate and procrastinate

Why do things before you have to? Leave everything until the last minute. Your homework was fine done on the bus and your work will be fine too; your clients will never know anyway.

5. Over-promise and under-deliver

We all know successful sales people have the biggest mouths. It’s all about promises and fast talking. No-one does what they say they will anyway, so why should you? Win the contract and deliver the least you can get away with. Everyone else does.

6. Go through the motions

You are paid to come to work not to be the best in the world. Why should you switch it on when others plod along? Life’s not all about work. You have other far more important things to be investing your energy into.

7. Get your excuses ready

Let’s be honest, it’s not your fault that you lost the sale. You have a rubbish territory, poor clients, your product is over-priced and your sales support department don’t deliver what they say they will. You’ve done your bit - it’s not your fault, if everybody else is an idiot.

8. Compare yourself to average performers

Look around the office. You’re not the worst. There are plenty of sales people doing and achieving less than you. Just because some freakosaurus is nailing it month in month out does not mean you have to - after all, you have a life.

9. Repeat your mistakes

Just because something didn’t work last time, doesn’t mean that it won’t work this time. You know what you’re doing, it was just bad luck that the deal did not go in. Keep on doing what you’re doing and it will all come okay in the end. After all, it has before… (sort of!).

10. Don’t study or invest in your career (life)

You’re good at what you do. Why should you invest time and effort in listening to others? Those who can, sell… those who can’t, train… and all that. If your company wants you to study, it should be in their time and at their expense.

So, there you are. 10 tips that will help you to avoid success in any of its glittering guises.

If you want to find out more about Gavin you can do so at http://www.gaviningham.com/gavins-success-newsletter/.

Copyright - Gavin Ingham 2016.

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